Lovable Children

   I have a little girl who is a year and a half.  She is absolutely and utterly precious.  She is adventurous and can often be found climbing the impossible or balanced in a precarious position.  If she can find a toehold on anything, chances are pretty good that she will attempt to climb it.  She often has bruises up and down her little legs from failed mountain climbs.  Just today I rescued her from under her chair, she had tried to get off or on and it landed on top of her.  The other day I heard her screaming in the living room and I ran in to find her standing on a stool trying to reach the top shelf.  The stool had shifted and she was hanging onto the shelf trying not to fall.
   Because she likes to go on adventures, she will often find herself covered in mud, grease, or (shiver) donkey poo.  The last one makes my nose curl just to think about.  She really does not appreciate being covered in the dirt because after all, she is a girl!  But in her excitement and haste to get from one destination to another, she tries to run a bit faster than her little legs can go, and then, plop!  She lands in the mud.

Isn't she precious!  :)

   She also has an affliction that most little people have.  She gets a runny nose when she goes outside in the chilly air.  I try to take a long a kleenex to keep her somewhat clean.  But it's usually pointless and I wind up just letting her go.  I'll take care of it later when I can actually corner her.
   In the past, I have been around parents of people about her size and I could never understand why they didn't keep their children looking nice and why on earth they didn't keep that runny nose under control!  Ugh!  Yuck!  I always wondered how they could be so welcoming when their child ran up to them and why they weren't embarrassed because their kid was a mess.  I always vowed that I was going to do better than that.  (Ahem, right here would be the sin of pride.  Just thought I'd point that out.)
   Now that I"m a parent, I completely understand the shift in thinking.  When my little girl runs up to me with a look of wonder on her face and a dandelion in her small hand, I'm in awe of her.  Here she is, this little person with messy hair, bruised legs, dirt on her face, sticky hands, smelling a bit ripe, and with a snotty nose; I'm in awe.  She is so much more than she appears!  She is beautiful!  I love that she wants to share her wonder and excitement over a common weed with me.  The love in her eyes almost brings me to my knees.  Really.
   So as I was being overly emotional about this little girl, a quiet voice spoke in my ear.  "This is how I feel about you."  I knew Who it was.  It was Him.  My Heavenly Father.
   So often I try to write Him off.  I don't know why.  Probably because I don't feel worthy.  But that doesn't change how He views me.  I'm learning this through having little people of my own.  I love my children with a protective, unconditional, and deep love.  It's hard to believe that the Bible says that my love is paltry.  It doesn't even hold a candle to the love that God has for us.  His love for us is a fierce love that is deeper, more merciful, stronger, and completely proven and tested.

I find her hard to resist.  I'm just sayin'!

   Today I messed up with my children.  I got frustrated and spoke to them in a harsh tone... again.  I really hate it when I do that.  I have felt guilty all day.  It's something that God is working on in me.  He's helping me to do better, but I still mess up.
   A few hours later I was still beating myself up for getting upset with them and God spoke to me again.  "Hey, you, I still love you!  You haven't messed up so badly that you can't be forgiven.  You can't change my love.  I still think you're lovable.  You have a choice little girl, (I love when He calls me little girl!) you can let this ruin your day or you can choose to let it go and believe that I have forgiven you and that I love you.  What's it going to be?"
   I chose to surrender to Him and have Him help me change my 'tude.  I was able to get on a more even keel.  His words in my ear gave me the encouragement I needed to pray for help.  He is faithful.
    (Sigh) Today I'm the one who had a dirty face, snotty nose, and a stinky attitude.  I tried to run from Him. I wanted to avoid Him because I thought that He would be angry with me.  But I got to thinking; if my little girl would try to hide from me, I would be hurt.  I want her to trust that I love her no matter what.  I'm learning that it's far better to run to my Abba than away from Him.  It only makes both of us miserable when I try to hide.
   He loves me in spite of me, maybe more because I'm a mess.  I know that my heart always melts when I see my dirty little people because I know how precious they are under the mess and I just can't wait to pop 'em in the tub and make them squeaky clean and beautiful again.  He knows that I need Him.  It's always nice to be needed.  Yup, He's always ready to pull me close and whisper His unconditional love into my heart... no matter how awful I smell.  He forgives me and makes me clean again.  It's beyond awesome to know that He can see past my unpleasantness and sees me... the real me.  And He loves me.  That's been a completely life changing thought to me the last few months.  Hope it encourages you!
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Outings with a 3 Year Old

   I normally leave my two girls with Grandma when I need to run to the big city to do errands.  They have fun and I get a short break.  It's almost surreal to get out of the van and not have to unbuckle 4 buckles and drag two little people into the store.
   Well, yesterday, I decided, as I was waking up, that I couldn't face another long day cooped up inside our house.  I decided that I was going to take the girls to a play place and have a fun day.
   I thought about calling Grandma to see if she wanted to join us.  I decided against it because it was such short notice.  BIG MISTAKE!  I knew better and I should have listened to the voice whispering warnings in my ear.
   We got to the fun place and it wasn't open yet.  No problem!  We'll just do a quick Target run.  We got our goop and as we were standing in the checkout line, I had the presence of mind to ask my 3 year old if she had to use the restroom.  She nodded an affirmative.
   Target has the most wonderful restrooms for families!  It's a private restroom and it's BIG!  Enough room to fit everyone in.  I could about kiss the Target CEO who approved such a room.
   I was patting myself on the back for catching such a thing before it turned into disaster.  It would be the last time I was so foresighted.
   We had a wonderful time playing at the play place!  We spent 2 hours climbing, jumping, sliding, and swinging!  Mommy even got in on some of the action!  After all, on the big jumpy things, you have to accompany your children... what a sacrifice!  Watching my 1.5 year old zoom down the slides was great fun!  She's got a bit more spunk than her older sister.  The bigger and more dangerous something appears, the more fun she has conquering it!  It amazes me that someone so little can be so brave.  Her whole body practically vibrates with excitement when she spies a slide.
   It was time to go.  I got 'em packed into the van and we went to the middle of town to the mall.  I wanted to eat at the food court because I was hungry for Chinese food.  Before we left the fun place, I wondered if I was being a bit too brave for my britches.  Turns out that, YES, I was being too optimistic.
   Our parking spot was fairly far away from the entrance.  So I plopped the little one into a stroller and the big one was a bit jealous.  I popped the little one out and plopped the big one in.  Of course the little one decided that she wanted to ride.  I put the little one on the big one's lap and away we went!
   I ordered my food and went to a different restaurant to get the girls something.  I navigated my crew over to a table and unpacked the food.
   Ever notice how when you're just at home with your kids, your 3 year old hardly ever has to go to the bathroom?  Yes, well, after I had everything and everybody situated, my precious girl whose bladder is usually made of iron pipes up, "Mommy, I have to go potty real bad!"
   I am ashamed to admit it, but I got mad.  I told her to wait, but she insisted that it was urgent.  I quickly repacked our food, quietly chewing her out for not speaking up a bit sooner.  Put our coats back on, balanced our drinks, put the little one in the stroller, gathered my purse and the diaper bag, and off we headed to the bathroom.
   I know that she didn't know better.  I know that, but I find it so frustrating sometimes that she has to have my help in this area of life.  I caught myself muttering about how, "I can't wait until you're old enough to do this on your own!" and "WHY didn't I bring Grandma?"  or "Why didn't I just get food and take it home to eat?".  The whole time as I stomped off to the ladies room, God was tapping on my shoulder telling me to enjoy this phase of life and to let this minor frustration go because, "Give the kid a break!  She's only 3 for pity's sake!"  I bit my lip and conceded His point.  But not without a bit more grumbling.  I looked at her and decided to try to enjoy her littleness.  She really is a darling!
   We need to stop at the grocery store for a bit.  We are at the back of the store.  You know, as far away from a restroom as a person can physically be.  Anyway, my child informs me that she again has to "go".  I'm thinkin', "Seriously?  You just went 15 minutes ago!"  My sense of peace gained from the last go 'round jumped right out the window.  I was frustrated again.  (God has a sense of humor.)
   This time I told her in no uncertain terms that she was going to wait.  Which she graciously did.  I got my items and just as I was grabbing the receipt from the cashier, my child reminds me that she needs to "go".
   Again, this makes me mad.  Why didn't she remind me before I paid for the groceries?  It makes me nervous to leave a cart of paid for groceries sitting without someone to guard them.  Again, this disaster could have been averted had she spoken up just 3 minutes earlier or if I had stinkin' remembered that she needed to use the bathroom!
   So, I did another thing I'm not proud of, I told her that I would put her pull-up on her in the van and she could do her business in that.  She informed me that that was a bad plan because she needed to "stinky".  I'm sure that you could hear my groan clear in Mexico.
   I ran the groceries out to the van and locked 'em in.  We came back and visited the restroom.  After admonishing the little one to not touch anything (public bathrooms give me the creeps), which she cheerfully ignored.  I wiped their hands with 4 or 5 germ-x wipes.  We headed out to the van.  I was praising God that we had made it to 4 different places and were still alive!
   Anyway, we made it home!  We had a fun time in spite of our bathroom escapades!  I learned a very valuable lesson through it all... NEVER GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT REINFORCEMENTS!  That and if today was all I had, then I want my girls to know that they are loved.  Face it, children can be an inconvenience at times, but just take one look into their little faces or grab their little trusting hands, and they are worth it all!

Men

   I do not propose to know about the inner workings of men.  Good grief, some days I can't even figure myself out!  It's just that I'm married to one.  A man that is.
   He's so... male sometimes.  Now don't get me wrong, I find this attractive.  It's why I married him.  I love that he's a manly man, I just don't understand the way his male brain works sometimes.
   We are sitting at the table after dinner.  The girls are excused and are running around in the living room.  My farmer is sitting there with a "thinking" look on his face.  I ask him what he's thinking because it looks deep and I want to know about his inner thoughts.
   With a startled expression he looks up at me and says, "I wasn't thinking anything."
   "Your mind was just blank?"
   "Yeah, pretty much."
   "Okay, fine you don't have to tell me."
   "No, seriously, I wasn't thinking anything."
   How do men do that?  I can't imagine having an empty mind!  I write my grocery list in my sleep for crying out loud!  I've heard on good authority that my man is actually telling me the truth!  Men have the ability to have nothing on their minds!  I believe it, but I just can't conceive it.  God knows what He's doing and so I trust that He gave them that ability for a good reason.
   Another example of our differences.  Not only can a man blank out his mind, he can shut it off completely and go to sleep in mere seconds.
   We are lying in bed.  I was reading my Bible until my farmer came to bed.  He crawls in and I tell him that I have a question.  He grunts.  I ask my question.
   Silence.
   "Are you asleep?"
   Grunt and then, "Huh, I missed the last part."  He laughs sheepishly.
   I repeat the question.
   He is gone to dreamland and doesn't hear me.
   Or we are praying and he just stops in the middle of a sentence and I wait for a full minute wondering what's going on. I finally ask if he's okay.
   "Huh?  Didn't I say 'amen'"?
   "No."
   "Oh."  A slightly embarrassed laugh.  "Amen."
   And he rolls over and goes quiet again.
   How does he shut his brain off so well and so thoroughly?  It takes me a few minutes (sometimes HOURS when I'm bothered by something) to drift off.  Even when I'm totally exhausted.  I'm kind of jealous truth be told.  I wish I could just tell my brain to shut up and it would oblige.  I think I'd have a lot more energy to face the day if I could just learn to pray about it and then leave my problems in God's capable hands.  Instead I lie there and have a one sided conversation with someone in my mind.  (Now don't tell me that you've never done that!  I know better!)  My hubby says that he occasionally does that too, but he's much better at telling his mind to be quiet.
   Another thing about men that is a bit mystifying is their ability to use "blah" words to describe how they feel about things.  If I make a meal that I think is very tasty and I ask him what he thinks, I get an "Oh, it's fine."
   "So, it's okay this once, but don't make it again?"
   "No, I said it's fine!"
   "Well, does that mean that you like it or you are tolerating it because you don't want to hurt my feelings?"
   By now he's exasperated and so am I.
   "No!  It's good!  I told you, it's fine!  You can make it again!"
   I'm still a bit fuzzy as to whether he truly likes it or not, but I'm getting the vibe that it's probably okay to make it again.  It's just hard to know because sometimes he says something is fine, but he's not all that impressed.  Or sometimes it's fine and he's really impressed.  It's like, where did you go to school and did they forget to teach you about the beauty of adjectives?  Or is it just that men come with one pre-programmed adjective?  Kind of like God hardwired one descriptive word into their DNA and it's the only one they know!  I dunno.  It gets interesting when I parade in front of him in a new Sunday dress that I've just made... Yes, you can imagine the conversation that follows!

Daddy and his girls.

   Occasionally I mess with him just for fun.  I'll wear a new dress and not say a word.  Sometimes it can take him a couple of Sunday's to notice, but when he does, he usually has a very nice compliment!  (Yes, it's better than the odious word "fine".  He's learned some new words having lived with me for almost 9 years!)  In his defense, he is the Sunday School Superintendent and his mind is usually occupied with more important things on Sunday morning.  I actually think it's kind of funny.
   When his little girls get new dresses, they make sure that they get a compliment from him!  Even my 18 month old will seek him out for his compliments!  It's very cute.  He makes a big fuss over them and it totally warms my heart!  It means so much to them to know that their Daddy thinks that they are beautiful.
   I don't think that I'll ever completely figure out my man.  But I guess that the fun is in trying!  I am amazed at how much better I am at reading him now than when we first married.  Then I'll read him wrong and I'll be amazed at how much more I have to learn about him.
   We are SO very different.  It's not bad... just different!  I know that there are things about me that make him want to roll his eyes and throw his hands up in the air.  (Occasionally I see the eye roll and then he pays dearly!)  Like when I forget to take my list to town with me and he has to go get it and read it off to me.  (Sure I can write it in my sleep, but I have too many other things on my mind to actually remember it!)  Or when I make divots in the lawn with the wheels of the lawn mower because I turn too sharp when the ground is soft.  Or when I order something online, but forget to order the other thing I needed and we have to pay shipping twice.  Or when I want to talk and he wants to sleep!  Or when I decide that I don't like a picture on the wall and I ask him to move it for the umpteenth time!  And the list could go on.
  I hope this makes you smile!  A person can't survive marriage without a sense of humor!