El Roi

As I sit in my comfy chair sipping my coffee, watching the sun peek over the hill in front of my house, a silent, almost desperate need to know if I matter overtakes me. 

I wonder, does God see me?  Am I really of importance in the bigger picture? Does my dedicated service to Him and my family go unnoticed, does He care?  

My days can seem so routine and mundane. Over and over it's the same thing.  Is this really the purpose for which God made me?  To do an endless stream of dishes? Laundry is always calling.  This work of teacher, mother, farmer's wife over and over every day endlessly, does it have significance?  Is my contribution to this world valuable at all?

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Hometown population: 2,090

County population: 16,750

Home State population: 1.93 Million

USA population: 327.876 Million

World population: 7.6 Billion

It's easy to get lost in those numbers.  I mean, I'm one measly person in all those billions.  Surely, as God looks on, I fade into the crowd.

"God is enthroned above the circle of the earth;

it's inhabitants are like grasshoppers..."

Isaiah 40:22

Then God whispers to my heart, "I am El Roi."

Thousands of years ago there lived an Egyptian slave girl.  Hagar had few rights.  Her body, time, and energy were not her own.  She was chosen to be a surrogate for her master's barren wife.  She was to bear a baby, and immediately upon his birth, Hagar was to hand him over to her mistress to raise.  

I can't imagine the range of emotions she must have felt.  None of this was her choice.  Her master didn't love her, but yet she was carrying his child. 

Hagar ran away.

The Bible says that by a stream in the wilderness God met Hagar.  He looked down and saw her pain, and desperation. She was important to Him.  

A slave girl.

A nobody.

The all powerful God and Creator, leaned down and talked to her. He told her that her child mattered.  God told her that her service to Abram and Sari had purpose.  Not all the news about her son was cheery, but God took the time to zero in on her and talk to her and give her hope.  He wanted her to know that He cared. Her next steps mattered as well as her attitude while she carried out her purpose. He met her at her lowest point in life, lifted her chin, and gave her hope. (Genesis 16)

In awe and reverence, Hagar recognized Him as El Roi: The God Who Sees Me.

Oh, the depth of that name!  

Oh, the incredible knowledge that a powerful God sits enthroned far above the earth, but still sees me, loves me, and knows the secret me. 

It's personal!  

HE sees ME!

I have a picture in my head of what this looks like.  

I imagine God, sitting on His throne, intently watching the activity on the earth below.  He leans forward with interest, everything and everyone else blurs as His eye lands on me.  I imagine love pouring out of the smile on His face.  Not because I'm perfect or good all the time (I'm not), but because I matter to Him.  Just because I'm me. 

Every tear, every frustration, every sacrifice, every hard choice, He sees.  It seems so insignificant on a world scale to know that my choices have an impact, but they do.  I matter because He has made me and given me worth and value.  He takes my small efforts and gives them meaning and causes them to touch hearts and do His work, for His glory.  That's humbling, but exciting too!  The Hard and Mundane in life are not wasted or meaningless.  There is a purpose and my response is pivotal.

Friends, this is not just me.  

God sees YOU.  

YOU matter.

Everything about YOU matters to El Roi.

If the thought of God knowing you and zeroing in on your life scares you, you most likely don't have a relationship with Him.  I urge you, get to know Him. Or if you do have a relationship with Him and this still makes you nervous, purpose and choose to know Him on a deeper level.  You won't regret it. 

God sent Jesus, His only Son to take the punishment for your sins.  This is the ultimate love.  I implore you, call on Him now.  Ask Him to reveal Himself to you.  He's not scary or harsh.  He is reaching out to you and wants a relationship with you. Forgiveness is abundantly available for those who are willing to surrender and repent.

The love waiting for you is more than you can fathom.

"The LORD your God is with you,

the Mighty Warrior who saves.

He will take great delight in you;

in His love, He will no longer rebuke you,

but will rejoice over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17

Hidden

The green van drove slowly, inching past my house.

Two little girls were happily splashing in the wading pool in the front yard.  

Alone.  

Unsupervised. 

What did the passengers in the green van see?  I won't know this side of heaven.  I can speculate though.

Many years ago when my oldest was an infant, I prayed against my children being snatched or taken from our care.  

I was at Walmart in the nearest big city with my baby.  She was an unusually beautiful child.  Big blue eyes, curly hair and delicate, fine features.  She got compliments wherever we went.  This particular day, a stranger came up to us while I was shopping and commented on my baby's beauty.  To the point of making me a bit nervous.  She just wouldn't stop or go away.  I leaned over my baby and wrapped my arms around her little one year old frame, politely thanked the lady and moved away.  It shook me a bit.  It was at that point that I began to pray against my children being kidnapped.  

I battled fear anyway, but that encounter really put me on guard.

Fast forward to a few Saturday's ago.  A van full of men with evil intentions parked on my gravel road about 1/2 mile from my house and flagged down a neighbor girl.  As she slowed her car, four men joined the one on the road who was flagging her down.  She became suspicious and fled without stopping.

My father-in-law saw the whole thing from the top of the hill behind our house.  He was mowing road ditches.  He saw the car speed off.  He saw the men climb back into their van and slowly, slowly, creep down the road.  He said that they were going so slow that he wondered if they were having car trouble.  He saw them disappear behind the tree line that shields our home from the north and west winds.  He waited to see when they came out on the other side of our farm and into the open again.  He said that it took a very long time.

I was inside the house taking a nap.  I rarely sleep in the afternoon, but this day I was very tired.  I curled up with my toddler man and we conked out.  My girls aren't supposed to go outside when I'm resting.  Nor are they supposed to be in the pool without an adult around.  But they did and they were that day.  Right out in front of our house.  Visible from the road.  

"There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague

come nigh thy dwelling.

For He shall give His angels charge over

thee to keep thee in all thy ways."

Psalm 91:10-11

Long ago, God gave me this promise when He reassured me that He would protect my children from harm.  

I can't be positive of the timeline of that day.  Maybe they were inside still.  Maybe they were indeed outside.  I don't know, but I do know that how ever God chose to protect them, He did.  He kept His promise.

Were the bad guys debating about whether to come up our lane and try to snatch my girls?  

Did they see an angel, appearing as a man, standing by my girls? 

Was there an invisible presence that made them feel nervous about coming in our lane? 

Or did they just see a bean field?

I've prayed that our house would be invisible to evil people seeking to harm us.  God has blinded evil before.  It's not a stretch to think that He could make our farm look like a field.

I'll never know this side of heaven.

These men, or men affiliated with them, have been spotted all around our county. We have even heard reports in surrounding counties. This is unheard of in our little farming community.  Everyone is on high alert.  

Evil is getting braver.  Evil is crawling out of its hole and spreading darkness and fear wherever it goes.

I hate this.  I hate that we will probably never go back to being a carefree, safe little community.  Men are cautioned against stopping to help people alongside the road.  A man a county over was almost killed by these creeps because he stopped to help with what appeared to be a breakdown.  Men came up out of the ditch where they had hidden.  They began to surround the man. If another neighbor hadn't come along at just the right time to scare the men off, the kindly man might be dead right now.  

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High

shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty,

I will say of the Lord,

He is my refuge and my fortress:

my God; in Him will I trust.

He shall cover thee with His feathers,

and under His wings shalt thou trust:

His truth shall be thy shield and buckler."

Psalm 91:1-2, 4

Do you know God?  Do you know His tender loving care?  Are you hidden in Him?  These verses speak of safety.  They speak of a close and abiding relationship with the Father.

If you can't hear the beat of God's heart, I urge you to pursue Him until you can.  I can't describe the urgency I feel for those who have not trusted Jesus as Savior or are kind of...winging it in their walk with Christ. I feel like a great darkness is lurking and waiting to take over.  It feels imminent and is building in power and ferocity.  I know many others who feel this way.  It's even felt and acknowledged in the secular arena.  It's like we are on the edge of our seats, holding our breath, waiting for...something.  Something not good.

Last Sunday I gave my testimony about my battle with fear. You can listen to it here. One can be certain that when one shares hope and the antidote to fear, one will then be tested.

Today as I read about the man almost being attacked as he tried to help, I'm not going to lie, it shook me.  Fear tried to take over, but now I know from experience what to do.

When fear threatens to take over, run to Jesus.  I took a little walk around our farm this afternoon and poured out my fears to Him.  I prayed protection over our farmyard and buildings.  It's up to me to trust now. Trust is becoming easier and easier as I draw close to Him. I've seen His faithfulness firsthand. 

I urge you to hide yourself in God so that the storm may pass you by.  We may still have hard times, but I'd rather go through hardship with my hand in my Savior's instead of trying to make it through on my own.  I urge you to diligently seek Him.  Cry out to Him.  He WILL answer.  He loves you. He will accept you, He will forgive you. All you need to do is ask. 

Fall in love with Jesus.  Before it is too late. Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow.  I beg you, pursue Jesus as if your life depended on it.  Because it does. 

Storming the Darkness

The sky to the northwest is dark and foreboding. The storm is approaching rapidly.  The clouds are churning out a warning.  Lightning slices through the sky and the sound of thunder rumbles in the distance. As I stand here and watch the storm, I feel cold splatters of rain on my face and the rushing wind whips and tears at my clothes.  Soon it will be right on top of me.  I instinctively pray for safety.  This looks like a bad one. Tornadoes are born in storms like this.  It's dark.  So dark, and getting darker.

This is a fairly accurate picture of our nation, and even churches, today.  Our nation and churches are split and are continuing to divide and take sides. Political party against political party.  Saint against Saint.

Darkness and evil are roiling and building in power and momentum.

The battle lines are being drawn.

I sense that the church as a whole isn't prepared to lead an attack against the coming darkness.

I'm concerned that we don't even see the darkness.

As Christians, we acknowledge that there is a spiritual realm, but it feels awkward to talk about, so we often try to ignore it.  It feels "kinda creepy" to think about demons and angels fighting it out somewhere above our heads.  I'm not sure that we can shrug it off so easily anymore. Evil is constantly at work behind the scenes and it's time that we recognize it.

We underestimate the power of evil.  Evil doesn't play by the rules; it can't be regulated, ignored, silenced, or imprisoned. Not yet anyway. Someday.  But not now.

Satan has cleverly crafted hot button issues to distract from his real agenda. Immigration, gun control, healthcare, religious liberty, homosexual issues, socialism and other problems, are merely a front to cause division among God's people and steal their freedom. Whether that freedom is physical or spiritual doesn't matter to him; he'll steal both if possible.

The casualties are going to be great if we continue to allow Satan to yank our chain and inform our worldview.

We MUST remember that this war isn't people against people.  This is a spiritual battle between God and evil in which we, Christians, are the messengers of hope and truth.

"We are not fighting against humans.

We are fighting against forces and authorities

and against rulers of darkness 

and powers in the spiritual world."

Ephesians 6:12

The battle is real.  The stakes are high.  We have much to loose if we don't wake up!

"My people are destroyed because they lack knowledge of Me.

Because you have rejected that knowledge, I will reject you as a priest for Me.

Since you forget the law of your God, I will also forget your children."

Hosea 4:6

That was a warning given to Israel, but I think that it still speaks today.  Our nation has been a powerhouse for years. We became powerful by following the principles of God's Word.  However, our choice to sin and reject God, has caused Him to back away and allow natural consequences to take over. Our children are suffering because of our lack of discernment and outright rejection of God and His ways.

Yet, our loving Father still stretches out His hand and longs for us to return to Him!

"So tell them, This is what the LORD of the Heavenly Armies says:

'Return to Me,' declares the LORD of the Heavenly Armies, 

'and I will return to you.'"

Zechariah 1:3

Oh, fellow Christians, let's fall in love with Jesus!  Fall deeply in love with Him!

He IS the answer.  For every problem and issue that we face.

Seek His wisdom! Ask Him to remove all blindness to clearly see the tactics of the enemy. Let's allow Him to form our worldview and give us answers! He WILL! We only need to ask. 

"Examine me, O LORD, and try me;

test my heart and my mind."

Psalm 26:2

Repent!

Surrender!

Find out who we are in Christ and what that means! We MUST know who we are in Christ. This is vital.  Don't gloss over this one. Attacking the enemy without first knowing our Captain and the proper use of our armor is a really, really, really BAD idea. You won't win. (Trust me on this.)

Share the Gospel with abandon. It's the only way to weaken the forces of evil who seek to destroy not only God's church, but also mankind. Evil is impartial to whom it hurts, just so long as someone is hurt.

Let's ask God to show us ways to fight evil in our own sphere of influence. Don't underestimate a kind word, a smile, a helping hand or a listening ear. Sometimes small gestures heal big wounds. God may call some to build a stronger marriage.  Some of us may need to try harder to connect with a child who is causing trouble in our home.  Or maybe some need to offer their home as a teen hang out, a safe place to crash and chill.  I don't know what God may call each individual to do, but I do know that the possibilities are endless!

This battle is here and it's getting darker and uglier by the day.  It's not something that we can escape. We can't ignore it.  We must choose our side in the battle wisely and be fully committed.

The darkness is already defeated, but only if we are willing to acknowledge and confront it.  We hold the answer.  We hold the light that will defeat the darkness.

I feel an urgency.  I can't keep quiet any more.  I think it's time for us to grow up in Christ and put on the whole armor of God! (Ephesians 6:10-20)

Instead of getting used to the dark, let's learn to recognize it and confront it with love and truth!