I will admit to harboring a bit of road rage (just a little bit). I also possess a lead foot on occasion. I dislike when people turn out in front of me and then putter along. GO PEOPLE! You can at least move at the rate of the posted speed limit!
If I happen to mutter (or yell) at someone in front of me to get a move on, and if I just happen to add a word I shouldn't like, "bozo" or "ding-dong", my conscience will invariably pipe up from the back seat with an opinion. "Mommy, you should not say that. That's not kind."
Ouch! She's right. I apologize and agree with her. I tell myself that I'm going to do better next time and that it doesn't really matter that we are moving at the "rapid" pace of 45 mph in a 60 mph zone and that we are late. Good grief, what kind of example am I being anyway?
Or if I maybe call her Daddy a "dough-ball", she is quick to point out that her Daddy is "NOT a 'do-ball' and he is very precious. You should not say that Mommy, we love our Daddy!" (To try to redeem myself, I did teach her to compliment her Daddy with the handsome bit, I'm not totally a bad influence.)Sometimes us Mommies get busy and we see things happening that shouldn't and instead of stopping and taking the time to sort things out properly, we make hasty decisions and do things we shouldn't. Like yanking a toy away from the offender and stuffing it into grasp of a crying child, all the while chewing out the offender for grabbing it away in the first place. Hmmm, might have to work on that one. "Mommy, that's rude." You know what? She's right, but I tend to justify it because I'm the Mommy. Nope, that excuse doesn't fly with them, they can see right through it.
Now, there are occasions where a Mommy has the right to exercise her God given authority, but sometimes I find myself doing it far too hastily with bad results.
She's good for me. At the very least she makes me laugh and rethink my actions and words. Sometimes I'm scared to death to talk to her about why some things are wrong because I don't want to sound too legalistic and put a "must not because I said so and God is displeased with you" instead of an "obedience out of love" spin on things. I want so badly to take her hand and lead her to the foot of God's throne and rejoice as she decides to serve Him. I know that it's a long path and that my actions and responses are critical. Yet, even knowing that, I still get lazy and careless. I'm glad that God offers help and second chances. I'm glad that little people by their nature are very forgiving.
She has taught me a lot about myself. I'm selfish and she has brought that to the surface and shown me that I need to take care of it at Christs' cross. She has shown me what love is. I think I have a better idea of how much God loves us because of my love for her.
She is a joy to have in our home and I'm so blessed that God saw fit to trust us with her care. It's a privilege and an honor to be her Mommy. Even if she tells me that I'm not as good as Daddy at tucking her in!
I'm glad that God has entrusted her to me. I'm not a perfect parent, some days I can even be a lousy parent. But He gave her and her little sister to us, and whenever I look into their little faces, I realize anew the trust that they have in me. I am overwhelmed with the awesome responsibility I have to teach her about our Savior! What a privilege and a joy, but how hard it can be sometimes!
It makes me want to draw closer to my Heavenly Father and allow Him to teach me how to be a parent. He's the only perfect parent and I have a lot to learn! I'm so glad that as a mother I have the promise of Isaiah 40: 11.
"He will lead His flock like a shepherd;
He will gather the lambs with His arm,
and carry them in His bosom,
and gently lead those who are with young."
God promises to lead me gently along as I dive into this unknown thing called motherhood. Just knowing that He will take my hand and lead me is huge! What a relief to be able to go to Him and ask questions and beg for help! I honestly don't know how those without a relationship with Christ do it. I am so thankful for Him!
I often tell her that I'm glad that God picked her to be my little girl. She just smiles and snuggles closer. She doesn't know the depth and meaning of those words, but I do. Every night I tell her that she is precious to me and that I love her. I'm not sure she knows just how precious she is to me or just how much I love her, but I hope that someday she can grasp it.
It is so refreshing to be around little people who have no ulterior motives and who are completely innocent. I hope that she will always retain her innocence and guilelessness, but I know that life will probably change that. I appreciate her tender conscience and it's a good reminder to me to look at things through the eyes of innocence and remember that the example I show will likely be the example that she emulates. Sobering, but also exciting! With God's help, I'm praying that we'll both turn out well!
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