My Friend Alice

   I have a friend, we'll call her Alice.  She is a sweet elderly lady with lots of spunk and a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.  She is quick to go on an adventure (as long as she has had her nap) and will often raise the eyebrows of those around her with her daring.  She just laughs and does her best to stay young by doing what should be impossible for someone of her age.
   If you visit her home and she is preparing a meal, you will find every available space cluttered with cooking utensils, food, and various pots and pans.  She is a self admitted "messy".  She always cleans up her mess nicely, and she does like things to be neat, but her theory is, "If you're going to make a mess, you might as well do a good job of it!"
   If you ask her where the measuring cups are, she will point to no less than 3 different drawers all in very different locations of the kitchen.  Not that she has measuring cups in all three drawers, no, it's just possible that it could be in one of those places.  Don't even get me started on where the salt is!  A common question in her house is, "Is this sugar or salt?"  The two often get mixed up when one time a particular container holds salt and the next it might get filled with sugar.
   We often joke that a tornado went through her kitchen and deposited her stuff in whatever place it felt would be the most unhandy.  When accused of arranging her kitchen in a haphazard manner, she just smiles and says, "Well, I know where everything is and that's what counts!"  I just shake my head and grin.  It's just how Alice is.  I love her for it, but I do wonder sometimes if the salt should maybe have a more permanent place to settle in to.  Don't you think that it might feel like a gypsy if it gets moved from "home" too often?  I would.
   Alice is getting a bit hard of hearing.  If you say, "The garage door is open."  She might hear something like, "The giraffes score is broken?"  This makes conversing with her hilarious.
   "Hmm, I need some chapstick, my lips are dry."
   "You need some slapstick, your hips cry?"  With a puzzled look on her face.
   "NO!  I need some CHAPSTICK because my LIPS are DRY!"
   "Oh." And then we all bust out laughing.
    Or...
   "Where did you get the flowers?"
   "Out in the garage behind the air compressor."
   "What?"
   "Out in the garage behind the air compressor."
   "What are you talking about?"
   "What are YOU talking about?  The electrical power box is out in the garage behind the air compressor.  Why do you want to know anyway?"
   "NO!  I asked you where you got the FLOWERS!  You know, the pretty ones right here in the center of the table!"
   "Oh."  Another round of belly laughs.
   The other thing that my friend Alice struggles with is remembering things.  I can't tell you how many appointments she has missed because she thought she needed to be there at 2:00 and it was really a 10:00 appointment.  "Hey, they both start with "T", anybody could get it confused!"  Or she sometimes will make an appointment for Tuesday and show up on Thursday.  And no, writing it down doesn't seem to be all that helpful.  She's tried.  I've even heard rumors that when her children were young, she forgot them at school a few times.  I'm not sure whether she honestly forgot or "conveniently" forgot.  (I've met her children.)  I guess we'll never know.
   Just this last winter someone proposed that we go sledding.  I drug my feet, but everyone else in the group wanted to go... including Alice.  She's quite something!  I know of no other woman over the age of 65 who would agree to zip down a steep hill and risk breaking all her bones in one fell swoop, but Alice did!  The woman's got spunk!  She landed at the bottom of the hill in a laughing, sputtering, heap, but she climbed that hill and did it all over again!  I went down once, got snow down my collar and was pretty much done.  I very much dislike cold, wet... and well, cold and wet.
   Gotta admire the woman!  I hope that I'm that spunky when I'm her age.